a collaboration between out for and daybydaycollective. words by Jaiya Badhan, founder of daybydaycollective, who lives with endometriosis and adenomyosis - with practical stain-care guidance from the team at out for.
if you live with heavy or unpredictable bleeding, you'll know it's never just about the bleeding. it's the nausea. the spare clothes. the dark trousers "just in case". the cancelled plans. the broken sleep on a towel. the cramps. the favourite knickers you've quietly binned.
my name is Jaiya and I have been diagnosed with deep infiltrating endometriosis and adenomyosis, two under-researched and debilitating chronic illnesses that are synonymous with heavy bleeding. a heavy four month period was the trigger for my own diagnosis journey, yet due to the lack of conversation about heavy bleeding and its links to conditions like my own, it took months for doctors to connect the dots.
conversations about heavy periods and associated symptoms have been heavily overshadowed by shame and disgust, allowing people (like myself) to suffer for years through abnormal pain and bleeding, leading to conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis and PCOS remaining undiagnosed.
conversations about the practical and emotional side of bleeding are more important than ever. bleeding cannot continue to be stigmatised or labeled 'taboo', as talking about our experiences and symptoms can help others identify symptoms within themselves whilst helping others feel less alone.
whilst heavy bleeding is not the only symptom contributing to the difficult day to day life of living with endometriosis and adenomyosis, it can be the most public and hard to control, resulting in blood stains or leaking. this constant, low-level mental load of managing an unpredictable body is rarely discussed, which is exhausting and isolating.
this guide is about naming it, and sharing practical and emotional ways to carry a little less of the anxieties associated with heavy bleeding.
the invisible mental load
heavy bleeding carries a planning tax that healthy cycles don't. you map your day around bathroom access. you carry supplies everywhere. you anticipate leaks in meetings, on light chairs, in other people's homes. you're unsure as to how long it will last, whilst trying to contain the anxiety, which is part of what makes it so wearing - you're managing a condition that no one else can see.
and there's the grief, too. binning clothes you love because nothing shifted the stain. missing things you wanted to do. feeling let down by a body that won't cooperate. that's not an overreaction - it's a genuine, repeated loss, and it accumulates.
"The day I went travelling for the first time I started bleeding. It didn't stop until my flight home, two weeks later. Five countries, hostels without access to laundry, the inability to hide bloodied sheets in shared rooms, my heavy period was unmanageable so far away from home. I was buying pads and tampons in different languages, unsure if they were the right ones, but there was nothing I could do. Heavy bleeding and periods don't stop when you leave the country, they follow you and remind you that you're not always in control of your body." - Jaiya
why it hits harder with a chronic condition
for many people, heavy bleeding isn't an occasional surprise - it's a defining feature of a condition they're managing every day. endometriosis, adenomyosis and PCOS can all cause heavy or unpredictable bleeding, and when you're already navigating pain, fatigue and the diagnosis journey, the laundry-and-leaks layer lands on top of an already-full plate.
this isn't just anecdotal. the NHS lists endometriosis, adenomyosis and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) among the conditions that can cause heavy periods. and Endometriosis UK explains that with endometriosis, period pain and bleeding can become severe enough to interfere with everyday life - and that if it's stopping you carrying out normal activities, it's worth seeking medical advice.
it's worth being honest about something here: when we put this guide together, we went looking for accessible, reliable resources on heavy bleeding and conditions like endometriosis and adenomyosis, and there simply aren't many. that gap is part of the problem. it's why so many of us end up piecing together information from social media and each other, and it's a large part of why spaces like daybydaycollective exist in the first place.
carrying less of it: practical things that genuinely help
you can't always control the bleeding but you can reduce the mental load around it. small systems take the constant decision-making off your plate:
- build a "leak kit" you never have to think about - a small bag with spare underwear, supplies, and a stain treatment, kept topped up so it's one less thing to remember each morning.
- say no - chores can wait, do the dishes tomorrow, don't put pressure on yourself to be on top form. rest, read, relax and treat yourself. get your groceries delivered, take a few days off the gym. heavy bleeding is physically and mentally exhausting, so be kind to yourself.
- take hot showers (a lot) - when I am bleeding heavily, I find myself showering on high heat two or three times a day. no mess, no cleanup, no pads or tampons or clothes to worry about. give your body a break and let the heat give you some relief.
- talk about it - heavy bleeding isn't something to hide. reach out to your friends, family or flatmates and let them know what you're experiencing. prolonged bleeding lasting weeks to months can be incredibly isolating, so let the people closest to you know, so you have some support.
- protect your bed proactively - a mattress protector and darker bedding on heavy nights mean a leak is an inconvenience, not a 3am crisis. the goal is to make leaks low-stakes rather than trying to prevent every one.
- treat stains early, gently, and without the panic - blood is a protein, so cold water (never hot) and an enzyme-based remover lift stains without bleach or scrubbing, which means a leak doesn't have to cost you the garment. (we go into the full method here.)
- lower the stakes on your wardrobe - keeping a few "heavy day" pieces in rotation means your favourites aren't on the line every month.
looking after your mind, not just your laundry
the practical fixes matter, but so does acknowledging the emotional weight, and not carrying it alone. if heavy bleeding is affecting your mood, your sleep, your anxiety or your sense of yourself, that's worth taking seriously and talking about, whether with a GP, a therapist, or a community that gets it.
during my own diagnosis journey, I struggled to find a flexible, friendly, low-commitment community to discuss my feelings during this experience. after the second month of consistent heavy bleeding and clots the size of golf balls, I was unsure if it was ever going to stop. I just needed to find someone that could understand, mentally I was at an all time low. I was scared, alone and out of control.
over time I realised that there is a huge absence of support for pre-diagnosis and post-diagnosis support, for not only endometriosis and adenomyosis but chronic illnesses and disabilities as a whole. this pushed me to create daybydaycollective, an online collective of people with varying chronic illnesses and disabilities, who offer relaxed, supportive events for chronically ill and disabled people, a safe space to talk about heavy bleeding and other symptoms without shame or judgement.
it was important for me to create something that was more than a groupchat, a space for real connection from the comfort of the home. that hour to talk and see people whilst wrapped in a blanket and with a hot water bottle between your legs. a space where you can talk openly about the horrors of heavy bleeding, to be met with understanding nods and smiles, and stories and experiences sharing the same thing. a space where it doesn't matter if you haven't brushed your hair or if you're wearing the same clothes you have all week. a space where you don't have to worry about travelling to whilst feeling unwell. a space where you don't feel alone.
the daybydaycollective team is the support I've never had. a lot of my healing and acceptance of my condition is attributed to the support and understanding that they exhibit, through open communication, real care and passion for bettering the lives of those with chronic illnesses and disabilities through providing an accepting space to exist without judgement. over time, I have become more confident in my ability to talk about the real truths of heavy periods and all the symptoms that come along with them, thanks to the collective.
with a monthly book club, free benefit support sessions, communities such as 'grieving your old life' and 'working with a chronic illness', endometriosis support sessions that cover topics such as 'you are not imagining this', 'understanding pain, uncertainty and the body', 'identity, grief and invisible loss', 'living with chronic symptoms' and 'medical advocacy and navigating the system', there is a space for you to feel heard, seen and understood, no matter what your diagnosis stage, type or journey.
you can find our online events through our website: daybydaycollective.com
you're not carrying it alone
heavy, unpredictable bleeding is exhausting in ways that don't show, and you shouldn't have to manage the mess, the cost, or the worry on your own. I use out for blood's period stain remover as a staple in my own period care routine, the bottle sat neatly on my night stand. It's saved bedding covered in day old blood stains that I haven't had the energy to wash straight away. It's an integral part of the practical system that lightens the daily load of unpredictable heavy bleeding as someone with endometriosis and adenomyosis.
you're not alone in the mess and frustration of living with a body that feels like it's out of control. being part of the right community lightens the emotional weight of unpredictable heavy bleeding. if you ever feel fear, isolation and frustration, don't feel like you're going through this alone, because you're not. daybydaycollective has been put together to ensure that we are with you, taking it day by day, together.
frequently asked questions
why are periods so heavy with conditions like endometriosis?
conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis and PCOS can all cause heavy or unpredictable bleeding. the NHS lists them among the recognised causes of heavy periods, and Endometriosis UK notes that endometriosis symptoms can become severe enough to disrupt everyday life and are worth discussing with a doctor. if your periods are heavy enough to affect your daily life, it's worth speaking to your GP.
how do you get period blood out of clothes when you bleed heavily?
cold water and an enzyme-based remover lift the protein in blood without bleach or scrubbing - and treating a stain before it goes through a warm wash is what saves the garment. full method here.
how do you sleep through a heavy period without ruining the bed?
a mattress protector, darker bedding on heavy nights, and treating any leak with cold water in the morning (never hot, which sets the stain) keeps a leak from becoming a crisis. here's how to handle bedding stains.
